We Are Surviving

Baby girl is now over a month old, and she isn't so sleepy anymore.  Her new favourite thing is to be held all day long - even, and especially, when she is sleeping.  Yesterday was a tough day for us.  The only time she slept the whole day was in my arms.  Each time after I got her to sleep and would place her every so carefully in her cradle (I still need to take and share pictures of it).  Then I had about 1-2 minutes before she would wake back up again.  As soon as she was awake she was fussy because she was so exhausted.  Last night was the most and the loudest that she has cried.

Mr. Carlee is borrowing a lens from a friend to try out, and this picture came out pretty crazy as a result of his experimentation.  But I think it does a good job of capturing the moment.   

Notice the red eyes?  I'm feeling pretty tired and it's hard to feel like I can 'catch up'.  I sure feel tired, and I have had several people comment that I am looking tired.  And they are right. 

But honestly, even though the last month has been a little tricky, we are doing okay.  One thing that is great about having a third baby is that I know this stage won't last forever.  Eventually she will start sleeping better and for longer periods of time.  Babies get big so fast, and I feel like it's so much easier for me to enjoy this stage this time around, despite the almost total lack of sleep.  Instead of feeling sorry for myself for how hard this is, I'm trying to keep it in perspective and log a lot of time wearing baby girl in a carrier (I'm loving the Moby Wrap courtesy of Alexis).   

Over the last few days I've seen a ton of people reference an article on Carpe Diem from Glennon Melton at the Huffington Post.  I know I don't 'enjoy' every moment with my kids, but I like to think that I am enjoying the journey.  Being a mother (and a parent) is pretty hard.  As my friend Eva said recently, "it's a full-body job".  That's so true, right?  My back hurts from carrying the baby, and my body feel a little worn out, but I'm also pretty full of love when I look at my three little ones.

 
I'm no expert on this whole three kids business, but I feel like it's all going to work out.  We've had tons of help from kind friends that have brought meals and watched the boys while I spend some time with the baby, and sometimes even have a much needed nap.  And there are lots of things that aren't getting done.  My house isn't very clean (as I mentioned before), and I haven't pulled things together enough to start using cloth diapers with the baby, but we are surviving.  Right now, I'm totally alright with survival.